At Home

Ernest Hemingway, F Scott Fitzgerald, John Steinbeck, T.S> Elliot, and more all of which were members of the Lost Generation, a group of artists who were disenchanted with the way things were at home that they left to find a new better place.

I have lived in Southern Ca for majority of my life, except for my time in the military. Growing up I never quite felt "at home", and to this day I don't find myself "at home". I think the only time I felt at home was the time i spent in Egypt, and Iraq.

Am I just sick of America, and it's sad political streak? I could find such peace in a small vineyard in Provence, or maybe wandering the deserts of Egypt. I find it so sad that I can't feel at peace with myself here, that I have to go out to find peace.

Perhaps I will find it someday.....

Time for a change

Well after spending almost two years at the non profit I'm currently working at, I have decided it is time for me to leave.

I started there as a regular security guard, I needed a job badly and I asked my friend's mom to hook me up, I got the job and before you know it I became their Grievance Coordinator, dealing with all types of complaints from the guests. Shortly after that, I became their Guest Relations Director, running my own department of ten employees. But with all that success I forgot about school and my desire for higher education.

So now I am leaving my job in September and will be attending Fullerton Junior College FULL TIME. It'll be a change, but i think it will be more beneficial for me in the long run. I'll be broke, recycling cans, cutting on costs like no other, except for my internet, and phone.

driiinkin on a friday

Hangin out at my sister's place havin a few jack and cokes. Nothing out of the ordinary except for the fact that i told my self id stop drinkin for a while. Especially since I practically drank all day on wednesday. But none the less, after i got off work, came over to her place, watched American Graffiti which is awesome by the way. And started drinking.

Now she is yelling at me to do shots with her, I DO NOT DO SHOTS, I WILL PUKE!!! Thats the main reason why i never do shots, unless I do something like chocolate cake or kamikaze shots, which aren't too bad. Anyways, we're drinking, talking about ex's and listening to depressing music, like Patsy Cline an stuff like that. THis blog wouldn't be so bad if I had some followers, but since I feel like it's my personal journal, it's all good.

By the way, where did the good times go where you could go cruisin, listen to some tunes, have some drinks with friends, and just rock-n-roll???

LIfe in a fuzzy haze

Every now and then when I am either doing something or talking to someone I feel like I am a robot going through the motions, like I don't really have control of my body, and my vision gets all cloudy and fuzzy. Maybe it's the medication I'm taking, I have no clue.

Aside from that, work is going allright, we're in a recession, people are losing their homes, and I work with the homeless population, unfortunately I have to say "Business is Booming". Every day it seems like there's a brand new homeless person, or family coming into my facility asking for assistance. I wonder with the bailout to all these super corporations, where is the bailout to the average American person?

LOve life, is still nonexistant, haven't really met anyone, and I haven't really been trying. When I do go out with friends, I don't go out to look for someone, I just go out to have a good time, if I meet someone cool, if i don't not a big deal. I'm probably need ready to get back into the saddle again anyways. I enjoy being selfish and just worrying about me.

Post Break-up

It's been quite a while since I've posted on here, but i'll just give you a quick rundown on what's been going on in my so called life the past few years, sorta like an 80's montage but with depressing music.

Girlfriend and i moved in together in a nice little place in Long Beach. I got a job at a non profit organization in south central/downtown LA. I got diagnosed with PTSD. I went through a few depression episodes, i get dumped. Move back in with my parents. Drank for a while, stopped taking my medication, stopped seeing my therapist and doctor, was going on a downward spiral.

One day I wake up and decide I don't want to be depressed, angry and resentful towards the world. I see my doctor, my therapist, and am now taking it one day at a time.

time flying By

I can't believe it's been this long since Ive written ion here, of course this being my 2nd posting doesn't help either. So I'm goinna give a run down on the last few things Ive done, For instance I'm going to touch bases with my Vegas trip, school, work, and the girlfriend, so be ready to read.

Vegas was a blast as always, I did do more walking than usual and there were a few down points, but overall it was a great trip. We went to the New York New York and stayed there for two nights, our nights were comped so we tried to upgrade which we did and were upgraded to the Player's Suite. Although it had two double beds it had a great hot tub so that made it worthwhile.
Next two nights we stayed at the MGM Signature which is probably one of my favorites. There's a kitchenette with knives and pans and what not, so my girlfriend and I always bring food with us so that we can eat in the room, it makes the trip alot cheaper. We went out and went to Revolution Lounge at the Mirage, that was kind of cool, probably woulda been better if the people I was with were in a better mood, but oh well I had a good time. We also hit the Double Down Saloon in "Gay" Vegas, I call it that becuase there are a bunch of gay bars and clubs in the area. It's a cool Punk rock dive bar that locals go to. From there we went to Terrible's and let me tell you, it was TERRIBLE. We just went for the cheap food, the food was ok (you get what you pay for) I was siiick drunk in the bathroom so I didn't eat too much of it.
Overall a great Vegas trip with friends.

Work sucks right now, we have new management and things are just not great. you know the saying "Too many chiefs, not enough Indians" that's how it is here. Not sure how much longer I'll be lasting here.

School is (shrugging shoulders). That's how this semester feels, for the past year and a half I've been in a rut, I'm trying to stay motivated and push myself for excellence it's just tough to do that right now. I wish I knew what was wrong with me.

Well im outta here, I might post some other thoughts in mind in a lil while. have a good day.

Bored at work

Well this is my first Blog, so gimme a break if you find some mistakes. Well as a short intro, I'm 25, I work at a hotel as a night auditor, I go to school full time and have a G/F who I;ve been with for like 2 years.

Well it's 1:40 AM and I am completely bored as can be, I haven't done any of my auditing since there is one more check-in left and I'm hoping the person will show up before I start which is at around 3.

So my G/F and I and afew friends are planning a trip to Vegas in July so we're saving up money for the trip, we're staying two nightst at the New York New York (comp) and then our last two nights at the MGM Signature, its a brand new hotel/condo type resort owned by MGM. So we haven't really gone out lately and it's killing me, I loove goin out but I know this drought will be worth it once we're in Vegas.