Off and on off and on and being alone

I am completely afraid to look at my previous posts to count the times I have said that I will start posting more often or that I will set a schedule for me to do it. Les just get out it out in the air, I AM A FLAKE! Well no completely, just when it comes to this. Ok so here's my actual blog on being alone.

I have no issue being alone. I was the youngest in my household and there was/is a HUGE age gap between me and my three older brothers, i was the baby of the family. So part of my childhood I felt like an only child because I was the only child living in the house, everyone else were adults. I would go off in my imaginary world and do things alone. Don't get me wrong I played with the kids in the neighborhood, but they weren't like me and didn't think like me (no, I'm not gay). The only way I could explain it was that I maybe had a conscious, or I could think outside of myself, maybe I had self realization at an early age. Also, because I was always around older people I matured more quickly.

Fast forward to now, I am sort of well rounded. I have "friends". Although there are very few I would call for help if I was stranded somewhere. In general I enjoy being alone with m thoughts. I'll occasionally go out with people but then I have to recharge my social juices and spend some time isolated from everyone else. Some people can't handle solitude and isolation, me on the other hand, I thrive in it!!!

sooo friends......

As I was laying here in my full size bed stretching my legs out for some reason I started thinking about friends, and what not. You ever wonder how many close, how many are acquaintances, and just plain associates. Then it started making me think of my multiple personalities. Do you have the same dilemma?

So I have VERY few close friends who I call when I'm screwed up or in need. For instance, before when I used to drink, if I was willing to call you to pick me up, then you were a close friend. Usually the ones who I'll call are the ones willing to pick me up.
If I knew how to make diagrams on this blog I would, then I could more easily show you how my circle of friends work.

So there's asshole Ralph, professional Ralph, and anti-social messed up ralph. It all depends on what I'm doing. At work I am obviously professional Ralph. To my friends and when im at the bar im usually asshole Ralph, so much that im sometimes mistaken for New Yorker. And then there's anti-social ralph. I isolate myself and refuse to contact anyone in the outside world, I want to be alone with my thoughts, perhaps I'll stare at the sky or wall, or just stare aimlessly at the waves crashing in.