off the wagon

We all have our weaknesses. It might be delicious twinkies, or maybe cheesy pop songs, but my main weakness and ultimate demon is booze. For better or worse, booze is it for me.

No other thing on this planet has brought me as much pleasure and destruction as booze. AND to make things worse, I'm a lonely asshole, but once I drink, I'm the lonely asshole surrounded by people. It's odd how things work. You choose sobriety and you are alone like as if you were in the vacuum of space. Start drinking and you have friends ready to party it up. Where was I on this social spectrum?

Obviously I wasn't sober from the get-go, but I cut my drinking drastically. Had a drink maybe once a month or so and when I did it was one or two beers. Fast forward to this past week and I gotta be honest, I drank more this week than I have combined the previous year. So where does that leave us?

I won't sugarcoat things. I will probably drink again, more than likely this friday when I go to a Comedy show I got free tickets for. But I'm going to work on not drinking as much, maybe I might not drink at all, but you know me better than that.

sooo friends......

As I was laying here in my full size bed stretching my legs out for some reason I started thinking about friends, and what not. You ever wonder how many close, how many are acquaintances, and just plain associates. Then it started making me think of my multiple personalities. Do you have the same dilemma?

So I have VERY few close friends who I call when I'm screwed up or in need. For instance, before when I used to drink, if I was willing to call you to pick me up, then you were a close friend. Usually the ones who I'll call are the ones willing to pick me up.
If I knew how to make diagrams on this blog I would, then I could more easily show you how my circle of friends work.

So there's asshole Ralph, professional Ralph, and anti-social messed up ralph. It all depends on what I'm doing. At work I am obviously professional Ralph. To my friends and when im at the bar im usually asshole Ralph, so much that im sometimes mistaken for New Yorker. And then there's anti-social ralph. I isolate myself and refuse to contact anyone in the outside world, I want to be alone with my thoughts, perhaps I'll stare at the sky or wall, or just stare aimlessly at the waves crashing in.

Sober Saturday night

Today me and my friend Jenn had gone to a restaurant in Costa Mesa called Memphis, and I had two bloody mary's, a bison burger and she had this awesome tasting coffee cocktail and a chorizo skillet plate. Both things are were freakin awesome, and I definitely plan on being back.

We then went shopping for clothes, bought some stuff, and then had dinner at Red Robin, around this time My buddy Dave texted and told me that he wanted to get "F''d up, I wasn't too sure since I was sorta on the sober wagon, and I know Jenn didn't want to drive. So I volunteered to be the sober driver.

Now first off, when I am sober and everyone around me is drunk , I become the biggest asshole known to man kind. I mean I'm an asshole already but put me in a situation like that and I'll REALLY be an asshole. So we decided to go to Rembrandt's Restaurant/Lounge to see Phil Shane who is quite possibly the BEST lounge ever, next to Eddy Day of course. It was a a good time. Surprisingly I was not that much of an asshole, and sort of had a good time all while being sober at the same time. I t is new to me and I'm going to try to make it a habit.